Ode to Gen Y Mums on Work

One of my favourite blogs is my daughter at Not Another Blogging Mother. A recent blog touches on whether women can combine career and family life and how young women  can approach this successfully.The blog arrived the day before Redgate Consulting attended a workshop on leadership for women run by the wondrous Avril Henry.Like many things in life, it was great timing to help me formulate my wise old owl /Baby Boomer  response. Avril has two key messages to women about their career and work life choices -ditch the guilt and stop seeking approval from others for your decisions.

Guilt is a negative and useless emotion-a common response and something too many women are prone to- but ditch it quickly.
The only approval that we need to seek for our decisions is our own –not others. If your immediate family (partner and kiddies) are all for mothers returning to paid work-then just do it. Ignore all others-mothers, sisters, friends, media stars etc. It is your life-not theirs.

We had a special guest speaker at the workshop- the irrepressible and hugely talented Dr Adam Fraser.Adam also had a key message for our group about being present in the roles we have, as a key to crafting an effective work life formula.

When you are at work-be at work-don’t do the typical “Oh my god, I am a bad mother because I have left Leroy at child care and my mother doesn’t approve and he will probably be emotionally and intellectually scarred blah blah”. Ditch that thought and do your work.

When you are home ,don’t do the “Oh my god, I am a bad butcher- baker-candlestick maker, whatever, because I am only working part time and everyone looked at me when I walked out at 4 to pick up Leroy and they will think I am lazy and useless.” Just be at home-Cuddle Leroy, play with him, do the washing -whatever but just be present.

A few of my own tips-If it is not too late, choose your partner well. (Otherwise undertake a major exercise in re-education).It is a much easier journey when two adults share life with children. By that I mean share the domestic load and duties. Outsource anything you can and discuss who will do what. It is a total copout that women have to do all the domestics. As it is to think that intelligent, educated and skilled women leave their brain near the labour ward. Purposeful work is one of life’s great joys and no one would dare assume that the men would not want to continue with their career -in some form or other –when their children arrive. Yes-despite the natural ebbs and flows of life-with physical and emotional support from partners, determination and a commitment to crafting a truly thriving and satisfying life –women can have it all.

Two ears and one mouth

Superior communication skills distinguish superior leaders and managers from the rest-Agree? Yet even basic communication skills are disappearing. I was in an important coaching teleconference this morning, with 5 managers, and while someone was talking-we could all hear the tip tap of someone else on their keyboard,over the phone-Very natural to try to use a teleconference to multitask but not respectful of the others in the group or good listening by the keyboarder!


The most important of the important communication skills for bosses is active listening-giving someone your full attention-really concentrating on their message-their words , tone of voice and body language, looking them in the eye , phones off, body facing the person and your mouth zipped-not answering your mobile rings or texts alerts, not glancing at the computer longingly to check yet another email, thinking about what you will cook for dinner tonight and wishing they would hurry up and get to the point as well as mentally constructing your own verbal reply full of managerial expertise and advice, delivered using your preferred voice- your own! We have two ears and one mouth for a reason-listening is better than talking. How are you at really listening to your staff?