Leaders speak up when they need to. They speak up when
others behave inappropriately. They speak up when they see dangerous things
happening. They speak up when they see injustice. They speak up when they see
discrimination. They speak up when they see stupid things happening.
One of my clients, a young Nurse Manager, this week realised
that she needed to speak up on behalf of a patient she was concerned about. She
revealed that, prior to undertaking leadership training and coaching, she would
never have had the courage to speak up as she did, that she would have worried
all night about her patient, not slept, become resentful with the rather scary
team member whose care she was questioning, and generally tie herself up in
knots over her passivity and lack of confidence. Not to mention the potentially
very poor outcome for the patient.
Everyone (apart from confirmed sociopaths) fears
confrontation. We avoid confrontation or difficult conversations because we
fear the response, we fear losing control emotionally, we fear the other person
not liking us and we fear not knowing the right words to say. In my years of
training people in assertive communication, I cannot think of one person who
says they enjoy confronting poor behaviour or work issues. It takes courage and
preparation and rehearsal and support and more courage and practice and skill.
My client spoke up clearly and calmly, and arranged for a
team review of the care of the very, very sick patient, some tweaks were made
to the care and so far the patient is alive and on the improve. My client said
she felt sick before, during and after the conversation but was so proud of her
ability to stick to her course and achieve a good outcome for her patient and herself.
She handed over to night shift, went home, had a sound night sleep and returned
to work the next day to find the patient improved. Her colleague has displayed
some sulky and passive-aggressive behaviours to her-code for “I don’t like what
you said to me the other night” often used by sulky passive- aggressive
types-common to all work places-in itself -a whole topic worthy of another
blog!
I agreed that she had done the right thing for her patient
and herself but also for her standing in her team. She had shown courage, calm
and management accountability to the rest of the team. Even those nurses and
doctors not on that night would have heard of the conversation-work grape vines
work very well, especially when the boss takes charge and behaves as she did.
On reflection she told me that the key lesson from the
experience was that she could speak up; that the experience was hard but with
worthy outcomes and that it would never be so hard again! She is well on the
road of her leadership journey.
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