Awesome

One of my favourite websites is TED.It is a perfect repository of inspirational, uplifting, entertaining and engaging 18 minute video talks by famous and not so famous people about ideas worth spreading. The talks are the perfect teaching tool for adult educators -particularly in the dreaded after lunch time slot-No workshop participant of mine has ever gone to sleep during a TED talk (or checked their iphone facebook or twitter account surreptitiously under the desk)

I was conducting a workshop recently – on workplace happiness - and showed the group this TED talk on the Three A’s of Awesome. It is a powerful reminder of the importance of seeing the joy and wonder in the simple, often taken for granted things  in our lives-hot coffee, clean sheets, flowers, taps with water, crisp toast, earl grey tea( my personal early morning tipple) – a much needed message in our frantic rushed stressed lives .Give yourself 18 minutes, watch the video and let me know what is awesome for you at the moment!

One Smart Cookie

One of Redgate’s clients is new to management. She is a very clever, experienced health professional yet smart enough to know that knowing how to treat and diagnose patients does not mean that she will also know how to lead and manage people (a common myth in Australian healthcare settings) so she is doing leadership and management training to help her feel more comfortable and competent in her new role.
The leadership program involves a lot of self assessment and reflection- because you can’t manage anyone –until you can manage and know yourself. This client knows she is naturally very task oriented-an essential management skill -and she also knows that she is self contained, private, almost an introvert and gets impatient with people who waffle or wants lots of hand holding and reassurance-characteristics that can lead team members to see such leaders as aloof and disinterested. She is aware of this potential barrier to building staff morale, trust and productivity and has come up with a smart system to address it.
My client knows that she needs to make personal contact with her team frequently and that she needs to make those contacts positive and affirming .To help herself do this she has a checklist with every team members name on it that she looks at the end of every week to record her progress. Her goal is to have at least one positive face to face (not email) contact with each person a week.

Not rocket science as they say-just a methodical approach to ensuring core leadership behaviour of reaching out in a supportive way to all team members becomes second nature!

How is she progressing? Three months down the track, she is meeting her weekly positive contact goals, the team is working well, there are no performance issues and she is growing in confidence.

Think before you speak

Ok dear readers-turn off the mobile, radio, TV, eyes to the screen, pull your chair close and listen up-this blog is about communication-something we give scant attention to. A lovely client of mine this week was bemoaning that his exercises in assertive communication were not going so well. He was trying to get his boss and allied HR people in his company to help him with a long over due and much deserved pay rise and was hitting a brick wall at every turn. I asked what he had done and this is the story .He had written the appropriate brief and request as per company policy -sent it off-heard nothing- he had emailed the appropriate person -heard nothing-emailed again-heard nothing-then left a voice mail-heard nothing back. Can you see a pattern emerging here?


In coaching, this recount brought us to what is called a “teachable moment”-so we took a close look at what communication actually is –to understand the breakdown that was occurring.

If we use email or voice mail or snail mail-all the power of response is with the receiver of the message-not the sender. They can ignore, throw away, delete our preciously crafted message and all has been for nought .In my clients case, his "receivers" are clearly not interested in helping him with his rightful request so can easily duck and weave by ignoring his messages.My client 0- his boss 1

Assertive communication (win-win) is when both parties have equal power of send and reply ,and therefore needs the most balanced channel-face to face or phone. It is a lot harder to wiggle away from a well crafted, clear, concise, respectful message delivered calmly and firmly ( which by the way is the formula for assertive communication)in person or on the phone.

So my lovely client has his revised homework-to make an appointment time and have the needed exchange in person .This way, he takes back some of the power and may get the response required or not. At least he will know he has persisted -and that my friends,is the key to navigating the murky waters of standing up for yourself at work.

Wise Women

I attended the Macquarie University Leadership Conference  last week.My idea of heaven! I love learning and I love meeting and hearing successful women talk about their own leadership journey . I was inspired by Andrea Culligan who gave her fast-track to leadership tips during one of the sessions.

Status means nothing and has no influence on your future

Andrea was a self confessed high school drop out who arrived in Australia, from the northern hemisphere with $300, escaping life dramas and a seemingly bleak future.Since then, over the last 10 years Andrea has established Unimail, an agency that specialises in the field of graduate attraction and engagement. She has taken this concept to Canada. In 2009 she was awarded Telstra NSW Young Businesswoman of the Year. Andrea is rightly proud of her achievements with no initial social, economic or educational  advantages.

Self Awareness

Knowing yourself is essential to business success.Andrea has surrounded herself with people who complement  her strengths and balance her weaknesses.

Set High Expectations for Yourself

Andrea has set high goals and standards of behaviour and hard work for herself  and is uncompromising about how this has set her up for ongoing success

Make Mistakes

Andrea says she has learnt as much  from what didn't work ,as what did  work over the last 10 years.

Be Open to Every Opportunity, Experience and New Ideas

Andrea feels very strongly that this has enabled her to see opportunities and develop innovative and creative ways to promote her brand and her business.

Fabulous and timeless tips from a courageous, talented , hard working inspiring leader.
Which one resonates with you?

Ode to Gen Y Mums on Work

One of my favourite blogs is my daughter at Not Another Blogging Mother. A recent blog touches on whether women can combine career and family life and how young women  can approach this successfully.The blog arrived the day before Redgate Consulting attended a workshop on leadership for women run by the wondrous Avril Henry.Like many things in life, it was great timing to help me formulate my wise old owl /Baby Boomer  response. Avril has two key messages to women about their career and work life choices -ditch the guilt and stop seeking approval from others for your decisions.

Guilt is a negative and useless emotion-a common response and something too many women are prone to- but ditch it quickly.
The only approval that we need to seek for our decisions is our own –not others. If your immediate family (partner and kiddies) are all for mothers returning to paid work-then just do it. Ignore all others-mothers, sisters, friends, media stars etc. It is your life-not theirs.

We had a special guest speaker at the workshop- the irrepressible and hugely talented Dr Adam Fraser.Adam also had a key message for our group about being present in the roles we have, as a key to crafting an effective work life formula.

When you are at work-be at work-don’t do the typical “Oh my god, I am a bad mother because I have left Leroy at child care and my mother doesn’t approve and he will probably be emotionally and intellectually scarred blah blah”. Ditch that thought and do your work.

When you are home ,don’t do the “Oh my god, I am a bad butcher- baker-candlestick maker, whatever, because I am only working part time and everyone looked at me when I walked out at 4 to pick up Leroy and they will think I am lazy and useless.” Just be at home-Cuddle Leroy, play with him, do the washing -whatever but just be present.

A few of my own tips-If it is not too late, choose your partner well. (Otherwise undertake a major exercise in re-education).It is a much easier journey when two adults share life with children. By that I mean share the domestic load and duties. Outsource anything you can and discuss who will do what. It is a total copout that women have to do all the domestics. As it is to think that intelligent, educated and skilled women leave their brain near the labour ward. Purposeful work is one of life’s great joys and no one would dare assume that the men would not want to continue with their career -in some form or other –when their children arrive. Yes-despite the natural ebbs and flows of life-with physical and emotional support from partners, determination and a commitment to crafting a truly thriving and satisfying life –women can have it all.

Two ears and one mouth

Superior communication skills distinguish superior leaders and managers from the rest-Agree? Yet even basic communication skills are disappearing. I was in an important coaching teleconference this morning, with 5 managers, and while someone was talking-we could all hear the tip tap of someone else on their keyboard,over the phone-Very natural to try to use a teleconference to multitask but not respectful of the others in the group or good listening by the keyboarder!


The most important of the important communication skills for bosses is active listening-giving someone your full attention-really concentrating on their message-their words , tone of voice and body language, looking them in the eye , phones off, body facing the person and your mouth zipped-not answering your mobile rings or texts alerts, not glancing at the computer longingly to check yet another email, thinking about what you will cook for dinner tonight and wishing they would hurry up and get to the point as well as mentally constructing your own verbal reply full of managerial expertise and advice, delivered using your preferred voice- your own! We have two ears and one mouth for a reason-listening is better than talking. How are you at really listening to your staff?

The Power of Speaking Up

Lots of Redgate clients over the last month have bravely experimented with having "difficult conversations"-mostly with their bosses or tricky colleagues.In coaching sessions we structure the conversation using the DESC model-Describe the situation-State the Emotional response they had-Outline the desired Situation and then describe the Consequences.
 The two most important rules are to:-

• Always use an I statement , not you statements

e.g. I was confused/angry/upset/worried etc  when x happened-not you made me confused/angry/upset/worried etc when x happened.

• Stay neutral and professional-this is not the place or time  for tears, yelling, sarcasm( in fact there is never a place for this bevaiour in any workplace -but more on that another time!)

The clients have  all reported that the conversations went well , with them feeling heard and having their needs acknowledged and met.The power of speaking up-unbeatable!

Effective leaders do the right things, not the popular things.

I spend a lot of time at the start of leadership training and coaching discussing the traits and behaviours of effective leadership with clients. Sadly, many Australian companies do not have a structured and appropriate approach to developing and mentoring new leaders and managers-often promoting people who have been highly skilled and competent in their professional arena-law, accounting, nursing etc, and then expecting this technical expertise to transfer magically to skills needed to lead, inspire and manage people!
A major trap people then fall into, is thinking they need to stay friends with previous colleagues and struggle when dealing with performance issues.
This is a slippery slope for leaders-as the more they let go-the harder it is to pull back and get respect from the rest of the team-who believe me are watching every move made.
So it takes courage and bravery but effective leaders do the right thing-not the popular thing.

Emotional Intelligence

Note to Tony Abbott
Emotional Intelligence = The ability to do what is in your own best interests, despite the  urge to do what you want to do.
Our national leaders have a tough life with 24/ 7 media scrutiny, needing to be focused on polling and staying ahead of the opposition . BUT if you say the thing you want to say-perhaps for example-about homosexuality, virginity, ironing and the death of young soldiers rather than what is in your own best interests and that of others( the people who are homosexual,  do the ironing, are not virgins and who have lost children in war)  -then there will be very ruffled feathers, public outcry and a drop in popularity.

I am all for being true to yourself and speaking authentically-but with the active use of emotional intelligence- stop-pause to think-What impact will this statement have on the people who can get access to it? Am I best to say nothing at all or can I craft my language so  my actual message is heard and received sensitively- Then maybe the bad press and unexpected results will be reduced? What we say and how we say it has enormous impact on our effectivness as leaders and relationships with people. Developing strong emotional intelligence is the key, as it makes us mindful of our comments and mindful of the people around us.

Bullies

Redgate hates bullies!Two wonderful,young,clever and talented professionals that we have been working with, quit their positions, recently, because they found that ,despite being brave and tacking the bad and toxic behaviour of bullies in their workplace-using all the proper channels-speaking up, speaking respectfully, trying to follow HR processes, going to their bosses etc-nothing was done -so they are putting their mental health, their physical health and enjoyment of work first-as well as their families-and leaving for better , hopefully, more harmonious pastures.Message to bosses - if you don't deal with bullies-you will lose good workers.If you don't know how to ,then ask for help to develop the required skills.Australian organisations and companies cannot afford to lose such talented people.
We would love to hear from you if you have successfully had a bully change their behaviour or made you leave a job? Any success stories out there or does evil mostly triumph?

Recipe for Thriving at Work

As everyone heads back to work this year keep in mind the importance of monitoring your energy and effectiveness levels.Somehow we have lost the art of living slowly and our poor little human bods can't keep up with a relentless and stressful work pace.So first step is to plan your first mini break , now and even better plan your whole year - with enough time for you, your family and your hobbies, so you can keep up the pace and productivity at work.
If you plan to recharge, refresh and renew then you will be on the road to thriving rather than surviving!One colleague set herself a rule to always eat lunch away from her desk last year and recounts that practice alone,helped enormously with a big big year of work.What other tips do people have?